Currently laying in a bed by myself in LA. And I am filled with every emotion possible. As most of you know, due to covid-19, all world race teams have been pulled from the field. My heart is hurting for this country. My heart is already hurting THINKING about the goodbyes that are to come so soon. And My heart is hurting feeling like I didn’t get to finish what the father started. Which is a lie.
The truth is, he isn’t surprised by any of this. He knew all along what was going to happen. He knows what’s best for all of us, for we serve a God of good intentions. Praying for my heart to find peace in that.
It’s weird. I really really felt like the father was speaking freedom over my life in my last three months on the race. That after so many freaking years of walking in fear and submitting to the doubt and worry the enemy planted in my head, the father was finally going to show me how to to throw those chains in the sea. And he DID. He was faithful in that and still is. And I know now that I don’t know what tomorrow brings but I do know who holds tomorrow. It’s such a cliche/christianese term that’s way overused,,, but when someone ACTUALLY BELIEVES it and walks in the freedom that the father invites them too ??????? The enemy freaking shakes in his boots. Okay anyways (srry for the side note) I thought I was going to have three more months to perfect the art of walking in freedom. Lol but he had something different in plan. And while the thought of going home two months early made me start to feel like I was sinking again. The father reminded me. “You can still walk in freedom here darling”. The truth is, I’m never going to truly “perfect” walking in freedom. But I believe he just wants me to take it day by day. To not worry about tomorrow because today has its own worries. He wants me to give him my trust day by day.
So, how was my “trip”????? (A question I know I will be asked many times). Well, to be honest I don’t even know how to answer that question. I’ve seen miracles and wonders. Prayers and healings be preformed and answered in front of my own eyes. Whatever faith I had in the lord before the race was nothing compared to this understanding and trust in him that I have now. I made friends all around the world. Friends that I think about every day. People that I’ll tell my kids about one day. I laughed so hard I cried. So. Many. Times. I found out what communication looks like. When you live with people at all times, it’s something you figure out quick. (And if not quick, then you figure it out the hard way) I loved people really hard and had to say the hardest goodbyes. I worshipped. I did that lot. I learned the art of offering up my voice to the lord as worship even if my heart wasn’t in the right place to raise my hands. We worshipped the father together, this family and I. It’s a community that I’ve never experienced before. People that love you no matter what and raise you up instead of putting you down. And I really thought I would have two more months with this community. Now we are all splitting ways. My best friends. My squad. My team. I’ve seen the same six faces every second of every day for the past six months, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. my heart is breaking laying in this bed, alone, thinking that I won’t have to share a bed, or a room, or clothes, or anything with them anymore. My heart is breaking thinking about how I won’t see all of their beautiful faces every day. And how they won’t show up to ministry wearing my clothes without asking. My hearts breaking thinking about not getting pissed at anna scott for turning our one fan off oscillating so that she can cool down in blazing hot Cambodia. And her getting pissed at me for the same reason hahahahaha. I really thought I would have more time to grow. And walk through things with the father. But he knows what he’s doing and that gives me the most peace.
So please please please don’t ask me how my “trip” was. It wasn’t a trip to my squad and I. We lived together. Grew together. Worshipped together. Went through fruitful ministry together. And also the mundane together. It wasn’t a trip. It was life. Just in another place in the world. (Please ask me specific questions about the race like “what did the lord show u here” or like “fave thing?” Ya know?)
I thank the father so much that I got to serve him in this way for the past six and a half months. And for this new family he gave me. For the stories I got to live and that I’ll get to tell when I get home. Wow. It’s been crazy. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about my race. The father had his hand on each and every one of us. And I’m seeing it all now. It’s been so good. Thank you father.
And thank you so so so much too all fo my supporters. I love you all and I’m so thankful for all you have done for me! And I’m so sorry you guys couldn’t see the whole nine months come to finish. But thank you so much for trusting the lord! Thank you all so stinking much!
Thank you father.
Thank you all for reading. Love you all <3
Sincerely,
Anna
Anna,
Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth. I will pray for you as you transition back to the USA. There is much work to do in Mississippi too and hope you find a place where you can continue to minister to those who need it.
Blessings and prayers!
Jennifer (one of your Mom’s old college roommates)
Beautiful Anna! It has been a true joy for me that I can now call you and your sweet Mama friends. Praying for you as you transition home. I know God will only continue to use you! 🙂
Woah well said
yes ma’am!!!! this was so beautifully said. i am so proud of you for everything Jesus did through you. i am so sad you cannot finish, but God is still good through it all. i cannot wait to see you soon!! i love you forever and a day!!
My sweet pea nut, I have always been your dad through the thick and thin. But you are my Hero always remember that !!!
Love dad!
Thank you for sharing this with everyone! What an amazing experience. Thank you for being His hands and feet! Praying for you to have a peaceful transition.
Anna, thank you for sharing your heart, clothes, time, laughter and tears with my girl! You guys have formed a lifelong friendship and I’m excited to see what God has in store for your future! He’s got this and He’s got you!
Anna, I have followed your race place to place through your Mom’s posts. I pray that Father will help you keep this burning desire to trust him fully and walk in His freedom. I’m sorry for your disappointment in coming home early. I am eager to hear what’s next. There’s a reason you are here now. I’ll be excited to hear what you are called to next. God’s speed to you, Sweet Girl.
Hey Anna. I have been following your journey since meeting your Mom at a Reflexology workshop. You are a brave and bold follower of Christ and you have inspired me in my own walk. I am so sorry your mission was cut short, but I pray that you continue doing God’s good work here. May God bless you and your friends you made in the mission field. May you feel the Holy Spirit with you in this time of transition. May you continue to be a light for God in whatever lies ahead for you. Take care. Great things are in store for you.
Sincerely,
Helen Ashbee
i’m so proud of you and i will miss you and our stupid cambodian fan:)
You are FREE in the name of Jesus and you are a Light to the rest of the world. You are being sent home because that is where you are needed. He places His warriors strategically! You will continue to feed your soul with His word, your praise, your music and your memories. Bless you sweet angel Anna!
I love you sweet baby. I know the Lord has been using you and has a plan for your life. I know he will show you the way. I can’t wait until I can put my arms around you. Your daddy said
“You know you can’t see her for a WEEK. “ ??I love you sweetheart ??????
Anna’s,
My sweet girl… I am so stinking proud of you. You heard God’s call. You listened to Him. You did try and fight back and argue but… you surrendered ALL to Him. You are brave. You are strong. You are capable of so many things. Continue to listen to Him and be ready…. He’s not done with you yet.
Love,
Mom